Condo Crazies: Murder At The Albatross Read online

  “You were looking at the car when I came out,” he said, pointing at her accusingly.

  “Looking, not spraying, you moron.” Kate flushed, losing her patience. “Would I be standing here admiring my work if I were the culprit? What is wrong with you?”

  “Someone did it.” He glared at her and turned back to his car.

  “Obviously. Now use your common sense, if you have any, and call the police,” Kate said tartly. “Let them do the detective work ‘cause you’re really bad at it. Get into the car, Ally.”

  “Ally?” He whirled around. “You’re the girl who was with Carly yesterday?”

  Kate got out of her car and advanced on the man. “I take it you’re Carly’s father. I’m Kate Parker. I had the displeasure of speaking with you on the phone for less than a minute. You’re even ruder in person. I don’t know what your implication was going to be, but stop right where you are. You need to do something about your attitude, Mr. Delaney. You have a daughter who is hurting, missing her mother.” Kate looked at the golf bag still slung on his shoulder. “And you’re going golfing?” Kate’s eyes raked his face. “I’m sorry about your car…sorry about your situation…but you need to get your priorities in order. Now, step away from my car so I can get out and spend the morning with my daughter.”

  “Listen…I didn’t mean—” the man began.

  “I’m not listening and I don’t care what you meant.” Kate slid into her car seat, slammed the door shut, and started the motor. She backed out carefully, but swiftly, leaving Mr. Delaney staring after them.

  “Wow, Mom, you sure went off on him.” Alexis looked at her mother’s flushed face.

  “Yeah, well, I’m tired of these guys who are so wrapped up in themselves—” She bit off the rest of what promised to be a litany involving Alexis’s father.

  Alexis stared ahead at the traffic. “You mean Dad, don’t you.” It wasn’t a question.

  “I guess I do. You’re old enough to realize what happened to us was because your father was centered on what was good for him, not the family. I think Mr. Delaney’s wife did the same thing to him. He’s hurting and not thinking too clearly about Carly. Maybe this is a wake-up call for him.”

  Kate pulled into the beach parking lot, shut the motor off, and rested her arms on the steering wheel. “Maybe I was a little hard on him. I think he just pushed the wrong buttons, yesterday and today.”

  “Maybe? Are you kidding?” Alexis snickered.

  “I’ve learned a valuable lesson a little late in life, Ally. Don’t let people push you around, especially self-centered people.” Kate opened the car door. “Now, let’s go have some fun.” She looked at the ocean. “Tell the truth…the ocean here is more beautiful than in Jersey. What do you think?”

  Alexis flung her arm around her mother’s shoulder and looked out at the turquoise surf. “Yeah, I gotta admit, it is better than the gray, dirty water back there. But don’t get carried away. I still love where I grew up.” Her voice got husky.

  Kate’s arm tightened around Alexis’s waist. “I wouldn’t change that for anything, Ally. I loved it, too.” She poked Alexis in the ribs with her elbow. “Race you to the beach.” She took off at a run with Alexis in hot pursuit.

  “No fair—you got a head start.” Alexis laughed, something she hadn’t done in a long while.

  Chapter 14

  A root canal would be more enjoyable. Devin looked at unit owners mimicking bees in a honeycomb as they circulated, gathering gossip about the impending meeting on building security.

  Phoebe Burlingame rapped her gavel sharply. “This special meeting of The Albatross Condominium Association will come to order.” She glared at the crowded room of residents and rapped once again. An immediate hush fell on the room as unit owners scurried to their seats and board members took their places at the front table. One didn’t ignore Judge Phoebe’s directives.

  “Five of the five board members are present, constituting a quorum. I will call the roll. Mr. Devin Dillon?”

  “Present.” As vice-president, Devin sat to Phoebe’s right.

  “Mrs. Valentina Lopez?”

  “Pr-r-resent.” Valentina replied, rolling her r’s and smiling at the audience.

  “Mr. Chester Cheney?”

  “Here, Judge, haugghhhh.” Chester cleared his throat with a prolonged deep, raspy cough.

  I should have worn a facemask. Devin pulled his chair a few inches away from Chester.

  Phoebe fixed Chester with a hard stare and resumed her roll call. “Mrs. Yetta Horowitz?”

  “I’m heeya.” Yetta was what people would call “big boned.” Her features could profile her as Slavic, but her nasal twang was true New Yorker. “I just got in from Cancun,” she announced.

  “Thank you for sharing, Yetta.” Phoebe gave her a stern look, forestalling any further installments of Yetta’s travelogue.

  “This meeting concerns defacement of the property of a new resident, Mr. Thomas Delaney. His automobile was vandalized in the condominium parking lot sometime between the hours of eleven last night and eight o’clock this morning. Mr. Delaney is, and rightfully so, greatly disturbed about this act of vandalism and even more disturbed about the content of the lettering.”

  Phoebe rested her arms on the table, her sharp eyes scanning the room. “There have been unresolved acts of misconduct within the building with no perpetrator identification. I refer to the disappearances of a new vase purchased for the lobby, a Christmas wreath from a unit owner’s door, a menorah, and the holiday centerpiece snowman from the lobby last December.” She raised her voice. “No one has any evidence of who the perpetrator might be so we cannot make accusations. Clearly, these acts were committed either by stealthy and very clever timing during the day or late at night when fewer people are apt to transverse the lobby.” She paused and looked at her resident audience.

  There wasn’t a sound in the room. It was obvious: Judge Phoebe had been a formidable presence on the Manhattan Circuit Court bench.

  “I have contacted the police, of course. At this meeting, I will put a motion on the table to hire a security firm to investigate this current defacement of property, attempt to determine culpability, and deter future vandalisms.” She turned to Tom Delaney, who sat in the front row. “Mr. Delaney, the board regrets the damage and the distress this incident has caused you. We have contacted our insurance company to determine what restitution can be made to you, if any. Please know we do not take such misconduct lightly.”

  Tom Delaney nodded at the board president. A ray of sun, slanting in from a side window, accentuated the fiery redness of his hair.

  “Errr, Judge?” Chester Cheney raised a scab-covered hand.

  Here we go. Devin closed his eyes for a second. He’d experienced Chester’s board member commentaries in the past, but that was before Phoebe was president.

  “Mr. Cheney, I will ask you to hold your comment. I make a motion to hire Gator Guard Security Systems for the purpose of investigating this vandalism and determining what steps can be taken to prevent further acts of same. Do I hear a second?”

  “I second the motion.” Devin raised his hand.

  “Discussion?” Phoebe asked.

  “Judge, haugghhhh.” Chester gave a mighty cough. “Why go to the expense? Who doesn’t know it’s the witch in Penthouse One who’s doing all this…the miserable bitch.”

  Phoebe cut off his remarks with two loud raps of her gavel. “Mr. Cheney, please do not place the board in a position of defamation of character. At this time there is no proof of who is involved. If you have any personal reflections, save them for your coffee hour. Any other discussion?” Silence met her question.

  “All in favor of the motion on the table signify by saying ‘aye.’”

  Four voices rose in agreement.

  “Opposed?”

  “Nay,” Chester croaked. “No point in spending money when we know who it is,” he muttered under his breath.

  “The ayes have it. Th
e motion is passed. A letter will go out to all the owners to cooperate with the security company in answering any questions they may have. If anyone sees anything suspicious, I urge you to call the Building Manager, Porfirio. May I have a motion to adjourn?”

  “I make the motion to adjourn-r-r-r-n,” Valentina trilled.

  “I wonder if she waits to pick words with r’s in them,” Devin mumbled to himself. “I second it,” he said aloud.

  “All in favor?”

  Five voices responded affirmatively.

  “Motion is carried. Meeting is adjourned.” Phoebe gave one last rap of her gavel and turned to Devin. “The security firm representative is waiting in the office. I would like you present at the meeting,” she said quietly as she rose and placed the embossed gavel in her sleek but functional handbag. She grasped the silver alligator’s head on her cane firmly. “We need to make decisions, not talk the subject to death by including more people at this meeting.”

  Devin loved this dynamic woman. No grass grew under her feet. She had already set up the meeting before the motion was even made to hire a security firm. She was that sure of her capability to mold the meeting to a desired outcome.

  The right person had been chosen for board president, he mused. Judge Burlingame would get any job done, single-handedly if she had to. He watched her as she slowly sailed out of the room, head held high, the crimson silk scarf around her neck floating gently in the breeze. In her hand, the heavy silver alligator-ornamented cane very much resembled a scepter.

  Chapter 15

  “I’m telling you, Kate,” Devin drummed his fingers on the granite kitchen counter, waiting for the scones to finish baking, “Phoebe Burlingame is a mover and a shaker. Within one hour, she conducted a board meeting, hired a security firm, and arranged for covert surveillance in the building’s public areas. And she’s convening a special meeting of the board to vote on a policy she’s already drafted for security procedures with equipment.” Devin shook his head. “She’s a geriatric Wonder Woman. Where’s Alexis?”

  “Working out in the gym with Carly. I’m glad she’s found someone to pal around with. Carly’s a nice kid. She didn’t get that from her father, that’s for sure.” Kate pulled the pan of fragrant scones from the oven and tumbled them onto the cake plate in front of Devin.

  “He’s a good looking guy, Katie.” Devin looked at her mischievously.

  “Good looks don’t trump a bad temper.”

  “Mark it up to his red hair.”

  “I’ve known plenty of people with red hair who don’t come at you like a barracuda.” Kate dismissed further talk about Tom Delaney with a wave of her hand. “I’m not sure about this. I’m just a lil’ ol’ girl from the no’th, but doesn’t Phoebe fall under condo commando status?” She poured two steaming cups of hazelnut coffee and joined him at the kitchen bar.

  “Can’t wait for this to cool off. It smells too good.” Devin broke a scone in half and popped it into his mouth. “M-m-m. You haven’t lost your touch, Katie.” The second half of the scone quickly followed the first. Devin closed his eyes. “This is what you need to get into again. Your cooking and baking would go over big here where home ovens are just fixtures. Most catered events have standard fare—pretty food with little taste. With my connections to the Palm Beachers, you’d have loads of clients.”

  “I have been thinking about catering again. I’m enjoying this life of leisure, but I need to get a job started here. The things I know most about are food and catering.” Kate dumped a handful of currants into the next batch of scone batter. “I’ll freeze these so you can have them whenever you want.”

  “They’re addictive.” Devin was already devouring his third scone. “Take them away or I won’t be able to button my trousers, and my Palm Beach ladies won’t love me anymore.” Devin pushed away from the counter, took one last sip of his coffee, and checked his watch. “Speaking of whom, I have a crazy young woman who managed to hook a retired CEO and marry him. Now she’s redoing a twenty thousand square foot, waterfront McMonster mansion.” He sighed and slipped off the barstool. “The money is good but I earn every penny with Tiffany. I feel like I’m working with mercury. She changes her mind constantly, can’t focus on one thing more than two minutes, and has tenement tastes.”

  “So what was the CEO’s attraction to her?”

  “The usual. She’s twenty-three, blonde, a workout nut with a great body, and double D implants. She’s all over him and laughs at everything he says. She’s everything his ex of thirty-five years isn’t. I know the first Mrs. Sorkin—laid back, raised three kids, matronly.” Devin shrugged. “Same old, same old. Gotta go.” He brushed imaginary crumbs off his linen jacket, hugged Kate, and headed for the foyer. “Thanks for the pastry. Have a great day, love. Take a drive to Palm Beach and get the flavor of the island. Bye.” He bustled out of the kitchen, assuming his haughty designer persona as he thought of the work before him managing the mercurial Tiffany.

  Chapter 16

  Devin closed his apartment door behind him and stopped short.

  “Listen, lady, you need to open the door.” A uniformed policeman in front of Delores Pruitt’s closed door called out loudly, impatience clearly displayed on his sweaty, florid face. Another cop stood, hand on his holstered gun, in the corridor behind him.

  A high-pitched voice was barely audible. The officer turned from the door to a stocky black woman talking on a cell phone. “Detective, she says she’s not gonna open the door. She doesn’t believe we’re cops. What d’ya wanna do?”

  The woman held up her hand for silence, turned away, and concentrated on the voice talking into her ear.

  For the first time, Devin had a full view of the door. A painted sun-yellow swastika covered the dark mahogany.

  Dear god—what now?

  The woman clicked her cell off and looked at Devin.

  “Morning, sir.” She drew an ID badge from her jacket pocket. “Detective Latasha Ezuma, Sheriff’s Office. Are you—” She consulted the cell phone in her hand. “Devin Dillon, owner of Penthouse Two?”

  “Yes, yes I am,” Devin answered.

  The policewoman handed Devin her card. “It appears we have a hate crime here. It’ll be a while before we finish up. I’m going to ask you to stop in at headquarters on your way home from work. As the closest neighbor, you may have information we can use.”

  “Of course,” Devin replied, pocketing the card.

  The elevator doors slid open. Phoebe Burlingame, alligator-headed cane supporting her, walked slowly but steadily to the knot of people in the corridor.

  “Detective Lazuma? I was told you’d be here. Phoebe Burlingame, Albatross Condominium President. Devin.” She acknowledged his presence with a nod, then turned to the defaced door. “Where’s Ms. Pruitt?”

  “She won’t open her door, m’am,” Latasha replied.

  “Oh, yes, she will,” Phoebe dissented. With an abbreviated stride, she walked to Penthouse One, and rapped loudly on the door with her cane’s alligator head.

  “Ms. Pruitt. Phoebe Burlingame here. I need you to open your door and allow me to enter. Now.”

  Bolts slid in their locks. The door barely opened, and a dark eye peered at Phoebe’s face. Devin heard a squeaky voice.

  “Open the door, woman, and let me in,” Phoebe said impatiently. She gave one last metallic rap on the door before the owner admitted her. The door closed immediately. One minute later, it reopened. Phoebe extended a bejeweled hand and beckoned Latasha Ezuma inside.

  Again, the high-pitched voice could be heard, this time whining.

  “Yes, of course she’s black…and you’re white. Now get over yourself and answer Detective Ezuma’s questions.” Phoebe’s patience was wearing thin. The door shut again.

  Never a dull moment at The Albatross. Devin shook his head and turned back to his apartment door. Was it a mistake inviting Kate and Alexis into this nutsy place?

  Chapter 17

  Devin reappeared at the kitchen d
oor, a frown creasing his brow. “Make sure you lock the doors while you’re here and when you leave. There’s mischief afoot for sure. The witch’s door was painted with a swastika last night. Police are here saying it’s a hate crime. Much as I don’t like Delores, this is so wrong. Too bad the surveillance cameras aren’t in yet. This had to have happened last night.”

  Kate stared at Devin. “I forgot about this, but after we went to Waterway for dinner, I didn’t fall asleep right away, and around one-thirty, I heard the elevator dinging on our floor. Since there are only two units on this floor, I couldn’t help but think it might be Delores. And the next morning was when the vandalism on the Porsche was discovered.” She raised her eyebrows at the wry smile on Devin’s face.

  “We’re all thinking it’s Delores behind the mischief, but Chester actually said it at the meeting yesterday. Not good for Chester, I’m thinking.”

  “If we’re thinking the swastika is revenge, Tom Delaney could be suspect. His car was vandalized,” Kate said.

  “I’m guessing there’s a host of people who might’ve done it. I have to run. Keep the bat woman out and keep the doors locked,” he cautioned.

  “Have a good day, Dev.”

  Kate removed the last tray of scones from the oven and was pouring herself a second cup of coffee when her phone rang. “Hello?”

  “Hello, Kate Parker?” a man’s husky voice asked.

  “Yes, this is Kate.”

  “Tom Delaney, and before you hang up on me, I’m calling to apologize for my behavior the other day, both on the phone and in the parking lot.”

  “Mr. Delaney, I don’t hang up on people. What would make you think I would do such a thing?” The man can’t open his mouth without being offensive.

  “I don’t think you…I’ve done it, again, haven’t I? Offended you, I mean.” He sighed. “Listen, I apologize, again. I didn’t used to be this way. I’m not such a bad person, Kate. May I call you Kate? I’d like to prove it and ask you and your daughter to have dinner with Carly and me. Would you, please? I promise to think before I speak. ”